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Ramblings

Word-heavy thoughts

19/03/2025 tough love

Every year that passes I find the human condition more and more fascinating, yet beyond my control and understanding. Part of my fascination comes from helping people. I've always been someone who sacrifices myself for others, but I have reached my limit with people who just won't help themselves. It feels ridiculous for me to continue on when the cycle just repeats, year after year, and nothing changes despite my efforts. I'm tired of trying to "save people", I'm tired of that expectation being put on me, because it was never within my ability anyway. It's up to them to actually APPLY the advice I give, and at a certain point my help only enables their bad behaviour, as I offer a scapegoat for their consequences. I need to learn how to apply "tough love".

14/02/2024 The misery of Modern Social Media as an artist

I’ve started limiting my use of traditional social media like Twitter/Tumblr and it is incredibly refreshing. I like being able to curate my online experience. I like that artists on Neocities can update their website at their own pace without the fear of getting lost in a sea of ‘content’. I like that it gives power back to the artists to build their own online spaces. On the Indie Web, It becomes the responsibility of the viewer to keep track of the artist if they want to see more of their work, it isn’t the artist’s responsibility to cater to the algorithm. It’s not about attention & numbers on the Indie Web, it’s about creating a virtual space to nurture our individual personalities, interests & experiences (at least that’s how I see it). Of course it’s not a perfect system, but it’s a lot better than the hellscape of modern social media.

We get less traction on indie web, but is that such a bad thing? Are a certain # of likes really what we should value our art, when art is incredibly personal self-expression? Is art only considered ‘good’ if it is palatable/aesthetic/familiar enough for people to want to ‘reblog’ it? I don’t want to be an artist in a world like that. My purpose is not to create ‘content’ for scrolling. Connecting to 1 person, is more influential to me than 50, 500, 5000 likes could ever be. I don’t want my art to exist within the vacuum of a bland, soulless corporate social media account. I want it surrounded by who I am and what inspires me, the indie web enables that.

I want to understand the people who view my art too, it brings me great joy to explore the personal websites of my Neocities followers. I really cannot overstate how important community is for artists. Art is a language, we want our art to be understood and seen, but thinking that validation can come from likes/reblogs is incredibly damaging and fruitless. I speak from a place of privilege as art is not my source of income so I don’t need to depend on having my art shared, but that’s a whole different topic.

After uploading my art to the internet since 2009, it alarms me how much of an influence it has had on my work. Of course I have been inspired by so many incredible artists that I have met through places like Twitter/Tumblr, and I am grateful to have their influence in my life, but the culture of social media has had a negative impact on me. Sub-consciously, and sometimes consciously, I will cater topics and my style to what gets more likes/view/reblogs/whatever. That makes me sad, I want my work to delve into weirder and more personal territories. When I would try to post more personal work on modern social media it performs significantly ‘worse’ compared to my more generic furry drawings. People like familiarity, familiarity grows the follower count. I’m sad that I let those stupid numbers influence what I create. I want to break away from that.

Of course I still post on modern social media for visibility but after being burnt by Twitter after it was bought by Elon Musk, I lost my faith in social media as a community hub for artists. The rise of AI images within places like Artstation/DeviantART was the rusty nail in the coffin. Artists have collectively spent millions of hours making and uploading their work for free only for it to be stolen and replicated, but again that’s another topic. All I’ve ever wanted from the internet was to share my art and talk to other artists. Neocities enables that connection in a very unique way. On the Indie Web we have room to grow and develop our individuality, not just cater to what is popular. I won’t lie though, it does hurt to see the current art community so divided…

06/02/2022 Joy of Neocities

I really enjoy using Neocities ^_^ Much more than I would have expected. I wasn’t old enough for the “old web” where everyone had their own website (or at least I wasn’t old enough to understand HTML) but I can understand why people have nostalgia for it. When I feel the need to open Twitter, which often has me stuck in doomscrolling, I can instead work on my website! The possibilities for silly sub-pages are endless! When I’m out of ideas, I can visit other personal sites, it’s a really pleasant and fulfilling cycle. These personal sites really do feel like “places” I can visit, and with the growing absence of third-spaces both in person and online, it’s been very welcomed in my life. Although we are fewer users than modern social media, I’m glad we are here together. I love this community.